Before you were head slammed into the wall of your home, you were building a career, a family, and a life. It’s true, one day you were cranking along with the goals and the appointments and the soccer games and then BAM, it stopped. Like hitting the wall at 60mph. Your brain is like, “what the hell just happened?”

While there’s much to celebrate about the Global Pause, there’s also mourning and loss. Each of us had very unique lives before this. You had unique goals and talents and families and dreams. And universally everything that was aligned with those goals is paused or maybe moving at a snail’s pace. Some of those goals and events before this might feel trite and insignificant compared to death and loss and wearing masks to buy strawberries.

The loss of your life is a loss. Comparing your loss to those that are dying or risking their lives on the front lines of healthcare and grocery store work does little to alleviate the pain you are experiencing. Please don’t add guilt to the mix. I miss Cafe Patachou meetings and hosting beautiful events. My son misses open mic nights and bellying up to the bar with his cronies. My daughter misses playing her latest playlist on blast in the basement of her friend’s house. Comparing loss does absolutely nothing to alleviate ours.

Just like the loss of a loved one or a beloved pet, it helps to talk about it. Last night my son said, “Mom, I had no idea how much I’d miss sitting at the bar with Kevin, our guitar player on Thursday night after open mic. I didn’t realize how social I really am.” Before this, my son needed alone time in between his social life, he recharges as an introvert, so this didn’t hit him as quickly as it did his sister. My daughter would cringe if she had too much time at home looking for her people and something to do. She recharges in the middle of a crowd. The Global Pause hit her quickly and deeply, and she’s just now settling into a routine here at home.

We all are experiencing loss, and it’s all very personal. Our unique selves are more on display than they have ever been, down to our natural hair color for some of us.