I’ve said this is in numerous posts for years. The deepest need we have as a human is to be seen, heard, and known. To be seen for our unique self, with all of our individual needs, hurts, and desires.
When I say it is a basic need, this need to be seen, is one step above food and water as a basic need. This is sometimes referred to as psychological safety. If you had read about this two months ago, it would have had way less context because some of us haven’t felt it at a deep level. We’re ALL feeling it now. Without the basic routines and comfort of our former lives, we slide down into survival mode, and just like the scurrying for food and toilet paper, we clammer to be seen in our pain and our discomfort.
WE’VE NEVER BEEN HERE BEFORE. Louder for those in the back. This is a time to acknowledge we’re all feeling our way around in the dark. How to handle COVID won’t be truly understood at this moment, it will be understood in the future as we look back. This is one big social experiment.
Our hurts are personal, and we want to be seen for our pains and discomfort. Comparative suffering isn’t at all helpful. Because you’re not a healthcare worker putting your life on the line every day doesn’t alleviate your pain and challenge. The little things are now the big things in ways that don’t seem logical based on our past selves. A friend who was so aggravated that people who had known her for nearly a year didn’t spell her name correctly in a text. She recognizes that this would have never hit her radar two months ago, but today. Today we want people to SEE us. We’re hurting, and “being seen and known” is the temporary life raft to the exhaustion of swimming in this sea of uncertainty. Being seen and heard with love and empathy void of ALL judgment is like a life preserver as we tread water every single day in this churning sea.
One more time for good measure; There is no right and wrong way to do this. There is “my way, our way, and your way.” The only right response is love, grace, kindness, and mercy. To be seen is to be loved. I see you, I am you, I love you. Good Friday is a great day to spread that around like Charmin, and Clorox wipes.